2013 street fund and books

After we closed the bookstore, I began reading for pleasure instead of production. Now that I don't need to keep up with current releases and hot sellers to make informed recommendations to customers, my numbers are down. In 2013, I read 60 books, down from 104 in 2012 and way down from the all-time high of 129 in 2010.

In 2013 I read a lot about orphan trains and the street kids of New York City in the 1880s. Most of the books on orphan trains were crap: they sounded eerily like English and seemed to be of interest only to amateur geneaologists eager to prove that they were indeed adopted, and that's why the rest of the family is certifiably nuts. My three favorite books were

So Long, See You Tomorrow by William Maxwell;
The Secret History by Donna Tartt; and
The Invention of Murder by Judith Flanders.

got books?

The street fund was down also. I found $9.72:

92 pennies,
6 nickels,
20 dimes.
14 quarters, and
3 dollar bills.

I blame the slow economy.

Next year P-Doobie will use an accomplice to trip people outside the ATM.

Street funds and books, 2012

Here's the annual summary of the books I read in 2012 and my street fund, money that I've found on the streets, parking lots, floors, and highways and byways of this great land of ours.

Street fund
In 2012 I found 106 pennies, 49 nickels, 47 dimes, 22 quarters, 3 dollar bills, and 1 20-dollar bill for a grand total of $36.71. I also found a Canadian loonie, which I will give to my friend Marion the next time I see her. Since 1996, the year I began the street fund, I have found $336.47.

Books

I read 104 books in 2012. Many of those were "production reading" associated with the store: I'd read the new and noteworthy titles so that I could give our customers informed recommendations, or read kids' books to the little folks during story time. I read only two novels in translation (Spanish) and one biography, so I'd like to read more biography and more literature in translation in 2013. When we went to Las Vegas and Wagon Mound on Saturday, I got Marmee and Louisa: the Untold History of Louisa May Alcott and Her Mother at Tome on the Range, so that will be my first book to read this year.

Here are my faves for 2012.

• Pogo: Into the Wild Blue Wonder, Walt Kelley
• The Handmaid's Tale (aka The tea party's America), Margaret Atwood
• State of Wonder, Ann Patchett
• Bel Canto, Ann Patchett
• We Learn Nothing, Tim Kreider
• In the Heart of the Sea, Nathaniel Philbrick

Now that we no longer own a bookstore, I get to read whatever I want for my own pleasure. Woo-HOO!

What I've been doing--with pictures!

A Last Hurrah

Before the store closed, I went to the annual conference of the Mountains and Plains Independent Booksellers Association in Denver. As a way of repaying MPIBA in a small measure for everything it had done for the store and for bookselling in general, I volunteered to do anything they needed.

The trade show, featuring publishers, authors, and vendors of sidelines for bookstores, is always a highlight of the conference. You can get a lot of freebies, and nonbooksellers often try to sneak in and grab some swag.

One day's worth of swag from 2008

Hence the need for security to ensure that only registered participants in the event can get in. The guy who promised to do security at the trade show never showed up, and Kathy, the project manager for the association, was beside herself. I said that I would help with security. She said, "You have to be tough." I said, "They don't call me 'Knuckles' Durbin for nothin'." From that moment, everyone at the conference called me "Knuckles." At the cocktail party before the banquet, I introduced myself to a fellow bookseller: "Hi, I'm P-Doobie." "Oh, Knuckles! I'm so glad to meet you," she said. I even made the MPIBA newsletter.

P- "Knuckles" Doobie from Otowi Station Bookstore and Science Museum Shop in Los Alamos, New Mexico, graciously agreed to be our Opening Reception security as well as our registration greeter, and declared she had never had quite so much fun!

Now We're Cookin'

Michele and I took a class in high-altitude cookery at Los Alamos Co-Op Market. Our friend Liz discussed the chemistry and physics of high-altitude cooking, and then everyone in the class got to help make the dinner: Santa Fe bean soup, cornbread, and chocolate chip cookies. We helped chop, slice, and dice the ingredients for the soup.

There's nothing like a sharp knife, and this is nothing like a sharp knife.

Small Business Saturday

Flicker was out of cat fud, so on Small Business Saturday, the Saturday after Thanksgiving, we went to Pet Pangaea to get a bag. And naturally I agreed to show my support for small business.

Coming up: why I don't smell so good

Two Inacdotes

Ina and the Los Alamos County Fire Code 

Ina came into the store a few weeks ago, and her eyes were shifting, her head swiveling, her ears pricked for eavesdroppers and spies. She beckoned me closer so that she could whisper without being overheard (although, because she wasn't wearing her hearing aids, she spoke in a whisper you could hear in a sawmill).

"I see the Southwest history section doesn't have many books in it," she said. "I can help."

Against my better judgment I asked, "How?"

She explained that she had two tall bookcases full of books on the Santa Fe Trail. "I could bring them all in, and you could display them in the Southwest history section. Then if someone wanted to buy one, you could say that they're not for sale, but you could order whatever the customer wanted." I said that her offer was very generous from friend to friend, but really bad business for us to showcase books we couldn't sell.

As you know, she hears only what she wants to hear, and she continued, "The fire department came by the other day. They said my two tall bookcases were in front of the windows and had to be moved. I guess it has to do something with the fire code—they have to be able to get into the house somehow.  And I have to replace the windows, too. Anyway, I while I'm bringing my house up to code and getting new windows, I thought you could display the books that are in my bookcases."

Yes, why pay for commercial storage when you can warehouse your books for free at a bookstore?

Ina and a Great Medieval Tradition

Back in the Middle Ages, books were a rare and expensive commodity. Practically the only book available to the general reader was the Bible, and churches often chained their Bibles securely in the churches so that those who could read could use the books, and those who couldn't read could be read to or could just look at the illuminations. In modern times, we display the rare and desirable books in glass cases or sometimes even on the shelves in rare and antiquarian shops, where book thieves can snag them and people like Ken Sanders bring book thieves to justice.

If I were a stealin' kind of woman, which I ain't, I might be tempted to snag a signed first edition of Cormac McCarthy's Suttree or Stella Gibbons's Cold Comfort Farm. My soul is worth more than $15,000, however, so I would just give thanks that the book is here in the world with me, and move on. I am not likely to steal a $7.00 book.

Ina has a new book out, yet another pastiche based on the works of her favorite author. And of course she thinks that it is desirable. She gave us a copy to display with the books for sale. It will discourage theft.

Street fund and books 2012

Here's my annual summary of my street fund, money I found on the streets, in parking lots, and on floors, and of the books I read in 2011.

Street fund

In 2011 I found 70 pennies, 14 nickels, 18 dimes, 11 quarters, and a 5-dollar bill, for a total of $10.95, which brings my total for the past 15 years to $336.47. I am going to invest it in steel mills when I retire.

Books

In 2011, I read 108 books in the following genres

• 3 biographies,
• 10 children's books,
• 1 epic,
• 8 collections of essays,
• 28 graphic novels,
• 12 histories,
• 14 memoirs,
• 22 novels,
• 4 plays and
• 6 books for young adults

These are my favorites for 2011.

• A Prayer for the Dying (novel) by Stewart O'Nan
• Fire Season (memoir) by Philip Connors
• Lost and Found (graphic novel) by Shaun Tan
• The Tiger's Wife (novel) by Téa Obhreht*
• Ghost World (graphic novel) by Daniel Clowes
• The Iliad (epic) by Homer, tr. Stephen Mitchell
• The Sense of an Ending (novel) by Julian Barnes*

*My top favies

Not mental, despite what a fear of cornflakes, the color orange, and potato eyes might indicate

I've written previously about the loonies, lovable eccentrics, and assorted nutjobs that have come to the store. Two recent interactions may not be the nuttiest ones I've had, but they're certainly on the charts.

Last week a woman was browsing in the science section. "May I help you find something?" I asked. She said that she was interested in the work of Erwin Schrödinger and in quantum mechanics, specifically the science of perception.

Wow! I thought to myself, that's tough stuff. So I showed her the books by and about Schrödinger and the books on quantum mechanics, and she said, "Oh, I know all about Schrödinger and that cat. I'm more interested in observation and perception, and how observation of a thing can change that thing." I told her that our books about the topics were highly technical but that she might enjoy browsing through them; I figured if she knew "all about" quantum mechanics, the books would be just pie for her. But no. She wanted a book only on perception. Was there such a thing? I told her we'd probably have to do a special order.

I asked her whether she worked at the national laboratory here. She said she didn't have a job; she just moved here. I asked what she had done before she moved to Los Alamos. She said that she operated a gymnastics school for the children of the rich and famous in Hollywood. Well, I thought, she could certainly be a polymath, a Renaissance woman as it were, with an interest in both front pike somersaults and wave function. But then she said, "Yes, perception and the higher consciousness. That's what I'm interested in. How can I co-create reality?"

Co-create reality? I was about to direct her to the New Age shelf when she asked, "Do you know what your store needs? You need to sell Kindles!"

I said that Kindles were proprietary to the Great Satan, a company that is working diligently to put us and other brick-and-mortar independent businesses out of business. "Well, maybe you could just talk to Amazon and see if they'd let you sell Kindles."

Before I could even inhale to respond, she said, "You know what Los Alamos needs? I have this great idea, and you're the first person I've told. This is such a great idea and would bring people to Los Alamos from all over the county! Have you ever been to the Monterey Bay Aquarium? Well, about 2 million people a year visit it! Think of what 2 million people a year in Los Alamos would do for the economy. Los Alamos needs an aquarium just like the one in Monterey!"

Well, except for the fact that we're a thousand miles inland and in the high desert, and have no space to build anything, I guess we could have an aquarium.

*****

I've never laid eyes on the writer of this email. We carry his book, which is his proof of the Grand Unified Theory as it relates to spirituality, because he's local, and we support our local authors, regardless of their race, gender, religion, veteran's status, political affiliation, or psychological state.

I mentioned to you that I never had a book signing but I didn't mention that I've sent people into your store only to have your staff turn them away empty handed. Amazon did help them. From the viewpoint of a local author, my local bookstore has done about as bad a job as possible in helping me promote my book. But the past can't be changed and now the movie about my work is finally progressing. We have secured over $5,000 of the $10,000 we need with a substantial contribution coming from my Muslim friend in Iran. Obviously if we win big at Sundance or one of the other film festivals, I will sell a lot of local books. Even though I make much more by selling them myself, I would prefer to send everyone to you. To make up for all past "sins" please make at least a $10 or more pledge at [website] to help finish the film, help us actively to promote our film and book by displaying a poster and keeping the book in stock as we move to a release of the film next spring. I know I'm the worst writer in Los Alamos but I'm the best philosopher as I've offered concepts yet considered by humanity.

I forwarded the email to the cops—just in case.

Busman's holiday: part 1

Every year we go to the annual conference of the Mountains and Plains Independent Booksellers Association and get together with our fellow booksellers to discuss business, exchange ideas, learn what's hot, and talk books. Every year we say that we're going to visit our colleagues' stores. And this year we did.

Last week Michele, Frankey, and I went on a busman's holiday to southern Colorado and Utah to visit Maria's Bookshop in Durango, Colorado; Arches Book Company in Moab, Utah; and Sam Weller's Bookstore, The King's English Bookshop, and Ken Sanders Rare Books in Salt Lake City, Utah.

The wonderful thing about independent bookstores is that they reflect the spirit and interests of their area. You won't see the homogenized, strip-mined selections that you find in the big chains. Instead, you'll find a carefully curated selection of general books and specialties, and attentive staff members who actually read. And you'll probably come home with a carload of books you didn't know about that some passionate booksellers recommended to you. (So Sophie was resting on the axle on the way home. Big deal. That's why we got the heavy-duty suspension.)

Maria's, for example, features books on railroadiana and regional archaeology, history, and culture. If you want everything Edward Abbey, guides to the gnarly activities in southeastern Utah, geology of the Colorado Plateau, and Native cultures, the Arches Book Company is your store. Sam Weller's has purt neart everything; Shoe and Kev would love the bottom floor, which is filled with maps and geology books, including rare and out-of-print books. You want Mormon history? They have more Mormon history than I ever imagined. The King's English is passionate about their local and regional authors. At Anne's recommendation, I got a copy of Curious Masonry: Three Translations from the Anglo-Saxon by Christopher Patton; it's a gorgeous little book with an embossed cover and the text, in Anglo-Saxon and modern English on facing pages, printed on laid paper. And at Ken Sanders Rare Books, I unearthed a first edition of Witter Bynner's Grenstone Poems with his bookplate, which was designed by Kahlil Gibran.

Coming next: Traveling with Frankey, or How Did She Slip out of Her Harness? I Thought She Was Fastened to the Seatbelt

Street fund and books, 2010

Here's my annual summary of my street fund of the money I found and the list of books I read in 2010.

Street fund total $25.01

101 pennies

10 nickels

40 dimes

14 quarters

6 $1 bills

1 $10 bill

1 diez centavos coin from Mexico, which I will put at Dad's grave

Books

In 2010 I read 129 books. I began the year with Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar and ended with James Barrie's Peter Pan. Peter Pan creeped me out of existence, and Pan is a mean-spirited, narcissistic little snot. I think that, to protect young readers, we need to keep Peter Pan, The Wizard of Oz, and Alice's Adventures in Wonderland out of the hands of us adults, who are more easily traumatized than kids.

Some of the cool books I read in 2010 include these.

• Let the Great World Spin, Colum McCann. I loved the beautiful structure and language in this novel.
• Confederates in the Attic, Tony Horwitz. Horwitz revisits the Civil War in the unvanquished South (although I kept saying to myself, "You lost. Get over it.")
• The Evolution of Calpurnia Tate, Jacqueline Kelly. This is a very funny coming-of-age story in which Calpurnia struggles against gender roles in 1899.
• Skippy Dies, Paul Murray. Skippy dies five pages into the book, and the rest of the story is told in flashback. Among the topics the kids are concerned with are time travel, M-theory, bungee jumping, and the true meaning of Robert Frost's "The Road Not Taken."
• Room, Emma Donaghue. This is my favorite book of the year. It knocked my socks off. Izzy, you should read it!
• It Was the War of the Trenches, Jacques Tardi. I love the graphic genre. This account of daily life in the trenches in World War I is very affecting.

Liō

One of my great pleasures is reading comics, cartoons, and other graphics. I have a whole bookcase devoted to this genre: everything from the Fantagraphics set of the complete Peanuts (the series is now up to 1978) to Doonesbury, from the graphic novels of Lynd Ward and Milt Gross to a graphic treatment of World War I by Jacques Tardi. I love political cartoons.

Here's a picture of part of my graphics bookcase.

Chuckbert introduced me to Liō. We carry the Liō books in the store and can't keep them in stock. They've become a great favorite of kids and adults alike.

When I opened Chuckbert's Christmas gift, a framed Liō print, I did a little happy dance around the living room. Thanks, Chuckbert!

Deck the halls with vials of Prozac

We're in the home stretch of the holiday seizure season and at peak season for the odd requests and comments.

". . . with E. Power Biggs at the Hammond Organ."

Perry, one of our staffers, is most excellent at and delights in pulling customers' legs by taking their requests literally. Unfortunately he wasn't there when a customer asked whether we carried organs. I'm sure Perry would have said yes, we all carry organs, including heart, liver, lungs, and pancreas, right there inside us. Then, after the dust had settled, he would have led the customer over to the display of the 3-D anatomic models to show them the little hearts, livers, lungs, and pancreata.

I, however, was less creative. The customer asked me whether we carried organs. I said, "No. This is a bookstore." She said, "Well, I thought that since you carry science toys, you'd also carry musical instruments." She sighed with obvious disappointment. "Well, do you think the Hallmark store carries organs?"

"We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand."—Randy Pausch

A customer told me that she had read The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch and loved it. I said that the book is very popular with our customers and has changed a lot of lives. She asked, "Did he write anything after that? I'd love to read the sequel!" I told her that Dr. Pausch died of pancreatic cancer in 2008 and the book was published shortly after his death. She said, "Oh. I didn't know that."

Plot there was none, and laughter less

At the recent trade show of the Mountains and Plains Independent Booksellers Association, we attended an education session called "Independent Publishers and Independent Booksellers: Can We Talk?" From my posts about interactions with Minty and Ina, particularly Ina, you know that I attended in the session.

It was volatile. Booksellers were lunging over the tables toward the moderator, an independent author who called independent booksellers "you people" in the way a patriotic Frenchman might have said "Nazi" during the Occupation. Authors were lunging at booksellers, who, they said, couldn't sell a personal memoir priced to move at $39.95 if our lives depended on it. Independent publishers lunged at authors and booksellers, because have you ever tried to make a living in publishing in this economy? With authors and booksellers acting like thugs? Well, trying to work with you guys is pointless, just pointless.

By the time we were ready to talk productively, the session ended and we were all spent and panting.

******

It's been a great season for interactions with independent authors at the store.

A customer came in and recommended a self-published memoir that she was going to give members of her book group. The author would be in town for a talk with the book group, and the customer asked whether we'd be interested in hosting a signing before the talk. I told her I'd get in touch with the author and perhaps arrange a brief event before the afternoon's book discussion.

The author was amenable to a little lunch before a signing, and then an hour of meet-and-greet-and-sign before the event. I told her that we'd sell her books on consignment.

"How many books should I bring?" she asked.

I told her that 20 would probably be enough.

"Yes, but I've been selling only about five or ten at other events. If I don't sell all the books, I'll have to ship them back, and the cost will be more than that of the books."

"Well, then," I replied, "bring ten."

"But I get a bigger discount if I buy 20," she said. "Why don't I bring 20?"

"That's fine. Bring 20," I said.

She said, "But if I don't sell them all, I'll have to ship them back and the cost . . . . " I figured we could have gone on all day that way. We finally settled on ten.

We sold two.

******

An independent author I met at Mountains and Plains gave me an inscribed copy of his first book and assured me that it would rival Gone with the Wind as The Great American Historical Novel. I told him I'd read it and get back to him. Meh. It's not to my taste, but as Lincoln once said, people who like that sort of thing will find that it is the sort of thing they'll like. (See also the title of this post.)

But I digress. The author launched the book on amazon.com last month and said that the demand for it was so great that the amazon server crashed for nine hours. (Now I begrudge no man his fantasies. We are all poets at heart. But if amazon had crashed for nine hours, it would have made national news.) I sent him a note saying that folks could easily get the book from their local independent bookseller instead of the Great Satan. He responded with the following note explaining why using amazon ultimately helps independent booksellers.

You and I concur on Amazon, Amazon is an impersonal, incompetent behemoth. On the other hand, Independent Booksellers are warm, personable and eyeball-to-eyeball. And that's my style too! Because I am much different than most authors, my eye is always to making the huge bulk of my sales through book stores. Unlike most authors, I do my ebook first, work out the kinks, begin to get my reviews, reader comments and set up a platform for the printed book. This leads to greatly increased media exposure of all types.

Let's face it, your job is alot easier with a book that is known, has great reviews and comments, which has some media exposure, and has some sales laurels. The only way to get that on the very first printing of the book is with Amazon, Barnes and Nobel, Ipad or a combination. All that sets up the platform for the 90% part of the program, the bookstores.

For instance, with [title of book], you the Independent Booksellers now have the benefit of all of the above, not to mention six or seven thousand who are now reading the book and another 700,000 who are familiar with it through our marketing including emails, Facebook and points of influence. Another 500,000 know of our books through our web advertising on special targeted sites and the book being named book of the month on three large women's sites.

So now your bookstore and staff have a product that you can say is widely known, being read by many, is getting good press, has received truly exceptional reviews, comments and endorsements from big names and can be counted as the top selling "paper only" [genre] - not to mention #1 Mover and Shaker and #82 Hottest New Release on Amazon.

I'm glad we could clear that up.

Heard and overheard

A long-time local customer came in and asked for a specific issue of a New Mexico art magazine that she really, really wanted. We have never carried magazines. I said, "I'm sure the issue you want is available at the Downtown Subscription in Santa Fe." She said, "Well, I don't go down to Santa Fe very often, and I wondered if you would go down and pick up the magazine for me." I said, "Sure. Will you pay me mileage down and back and $30.00 an hour for my time?" She said, "I don't want it that bad."

******

Staffer, after checking our inventory for a book the customer requested: "I'm sorry, but we don't have that book in stock. May I order it for you? It will be here in about three business days."

Customer: "Would it be more convenient for you if I ordered it from Amazon?"

******

"I'm looking for a book about Los Alamos. We have it at home, but I don't know what it's about."

******

Mei, to her friend at the Fun"d" Run: "This is my aunt. She owns Otowi Station. Have you been there? We have all kinds of great stuff. We have books. We have Pokemon cards. We have stuffed animals. We have manga books. You'll probably have to get permission from your mom to read manga, because sometimes they're kind of bloody. We have all kinds of toys."

Even when she's not here, she's here

We're planning the sequel to last year's very successful AuthorFest. I sent out invitations to all the local authors for this year's event, which we'll have in early November, and gladsome acceptances have been coming in. Except for Ina.

She can't make it on the date we've set. She came in yesterday and gave me a list of alternate dates that the 30+ other folks could work around. I told her that the date was firm, and we can't try to reschedule everyone else just for her. She was undeterred. "How about if I send someone with a suitcase full of my books? That person could sell them for me. I'd sign them beforehand, of course," she reassured me. I said that would be fine. But she wasn't finished.

"Now did I tell you about that woman from Magdalena who wrote a memoir about her life in the convent? Maybe you should invite her, too." (I'm not sure how that would go over with Minty, who defines "local author" as someone who lives within a five-mile radius of the store.) "I know that she'd love to sell my books for me, because I bought one of hers and she signed it. Here, you can read it." She thrust it into my hands.

Barreling on, she said, "You're probably thinking that people would be confused about who's selling my books if the Magdalena author were here. Well, I thought it all out. I have a manikin of myself about this tall that can sit in the chair, and people will know it's me."

Ina and her doppelgänger: it's just too much to contemplate.

I'm not a peasant, but I play one on TV

The Santa Fe Opera presented the world premiere of Life Is a Dream by Lewis Spratlan, and we're seeing it this Friday. To prepare myself and to revisit a play that I read as an undergraduate (but which I have absolutely no memory of), I bought a copy of Life Is a Dream (La vida es sueño) by Pedro Calderón de la Barca and translated by Gregary Racz.

Gregary Racz's translation of La vida es sueño is, as Racz explains in a note on his translation, "the first attempt to render the drama entirely in analogous meter and rhyme since 1853, when both Denis Florence MacCarthy and Edward FitzGerald, with varying degrees of success, contemporaneously produced full-length English language versions of the play." A reviewer of Racz's translation wrote, "With Calderón utilizing 'a variety of metrical and rhyming patterns,' Racz's attempt to mirror that in the English is particularly noteworthy. Obviously, a bilingual edition, with the Spanish text facing the English one, would be the ideal solution, but fortunately the Spanish text of the play can readily be found on the Internet, and Racz's version does effectively give a sense of the sound and feel of the original for those who want to focus solely on an English text."

Well, that's pretty cool! As I read, I noticed that most of the verse was iambic tetrameter.

What's life? A frenzied, blurry haze.
What's life? Not anything it seems.
A shadow. Fiction filling reams.
All we possess on earth means nil,
For life's a dream, think what you will,
And even all our dreams are dreams.

And as I kept reading, I thought, "Why is this making me nuts? The translation is acclaimed, and Racz seems to have captured the sound and feel of Spanish. Is it me?"

Then I answered my own question: "Yes, you peasant, it is indeed you. You keep thinking about a certain poem by Longfellow, which is also written in iambic tetrameter, and at the end of every speech in Life Is a Dream, you want to say, 'Excelsior!'"

The shades of night were falling fast,
As through an Alpine village passed
A youth, who bore, 'mid snow and ice,
A banner with the strange device,
Excelsior!

Ina and Minty, winning friends and influencing booksellers

Ina, who has long held the American record for uninterrupted monotonic exposition in the novel, has just published a new book, yet another homage to her favorite author.

The latest practice among some of our local self-published authors, including Ina, is not selling their books in bookstores but holding day-long signings in the ice cream store; teaming up with each other in the bagel restaurant, where Ina snags diners who naively thought they could have a peaceful coffee and a nosh without fear of being accosted, and drags them by the wrists to meet the author; and sitting together in the wintry lobby of the Smith's supermarket in White Rock, among the stacks of ice melt, bales of firewood, and cranky, frozen shoppers who just want to pick up the eggs and get the hell back home to the fire and some hot cocoa before the storm hits.

You may sell some books that way and get to keep all the profits. But eventually you're going to come to the realization that people aren't going to say, "Hey, I just heard about the new Elizabeth Gilbert. What say we head down to the fro-yo parlor and pick up a copy?" You're going to have to go to a place that sells books as its primary commodity. You're going to have to go to a bookstore.

So Ina came into the store to discuss arrangements for her signing. Actually, she came in to tell me when, where, and how she'd be signing in my store, and she said that she'd be happy to invite her friend Minty as well.

Minty, another member of the writers' group, had written a children's book about 120 pages long and had it published by one of the companies that does printing on-demand and self-publishing. It's a beautiful paperbound book, physically much larger than the usual trade paperback, and priced to move at $34.00.

We had told Minty that the book wouldn't sell at that price except in her immediate circle of friends but that we'd buy copies from her at the standard industry discount. She blanched and clutched her head. "I spent six months of my life on that book! You can't ask for such a discount! I won't make a penny on it!"

I told her them's the breaks.

She sold a few in the fall. Eventually Minty had her publisher change the dimensions of the book from gargantuan to something that could be held in one hand, eliminated the 4-color cover and illustrations in favor of black and white, and changed the price to something that wouldn't require a reader to scrimp and save. Then she and Ina hit the ice cream store and the supermarket.

So, Ina told me, even though Minty had already done a signing at the store with the original version of the book, technically she wrote a new book because it was reformatted and cheaper. I said that Minty's book was not new, and that I was in charge of signings. No Minty.

Unfazed, Ina said that she'd take care of the press release and all the publicity for the event, and assured me warmly that she'd bring in some posters that we could display throughout the store. As usual, before she left, she turned all the copies of her books face out.

A few days later Minty came in. She stared balefully at the display of books by local authors and asked, "Where's my book then? I'm a local author."

I checked the inventory and told her that we were sold out. She said, "How can that be? I brought you a book in December."

She returned her gaze to the display. "I see that you classify this woman as a local author. I know for a fact that she lives in Santa Fe. Well, I guess your definition of local is quite, quite liberal then." She turned to me. "So why isn't Michael McGarrity here? He's from Santa Fe. And John Nichols is from Taos. I suppose you'd classify him as 'local,' too, then. Why didn't you put his books here?" She sighed. "It's a shame that books by true local authors aren't displayed here, isn't it?"

I'm looking forward to the return of Margaret Coel and Richard Rhodes to the store. They're really nice.

Minty and Ina hoping to sell their books on public transportation

Street fund and books, 2009

You probably recall that I keep track of the money I find on the streets and the number of new books I read every year. Here's the summary for 2009.

Street fund

• 105 pennies
• 10 nickels
• 31 dimes
• 12 quarters

That's a cool $7.66. I didn't find any folding money, though. Nor did I find any Canadian coins; Marion, I can't take you for some ice cream. The grand total, 1997-2009, is $300.51.

Books

In 2009 I read 102 new books. I usually surpass my pre-owning-a-bookstore goal of 25 new books a year in mid April. I resolved in 2009 to read more literature in translation, and I accomplished that goal with eight books (my faves in blue):

• Novels in Three Lines (Félix Fénéon), The Man Who Watched Trains Go By (Georges Simenon), and Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress (Dai Sijie), translated from French;
• Club Dumas (Arturo Pérez-Reverte), The House of Bernarda Alba (Federico García Lorca), and The Angel's Game (Carlos Ruiz Zafón), translated from Spanish;
• The Housekeeper and the Professor (Yoko Ogawa) and A-bomb Drawings by Survivors (Hiroshima Peace Memorial Museum), translated from Japanese.

The best books I read in 2009 are

• Arrival, by Shaun Tan, a beautiful wordless book about the immigrant experience;
• Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, by Jonathan Safran Foer, about the World Trade Center disaster and the search for family;
• Watchmen, a richly textured and sophisticated graphic novel by Alan Moore;
• Columbine, by Dave Cullen, about the Columbine High School shootings;
• The Book of Genesis Illustrated, by R. Crumb; and
• Suttree, by Cormac McCarthy; the first three pages are so beautifully written that I had to walk away from the book for a while.

What is the first book you'll read in 2010?

Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?--Henry Ward Beecher

Cormac McCarthy's typewriter

Cormac McCarthy is my favorite modern author. One of the happiest days of my life was August 26, 2005, when Michele and I saw him in the Border's bookstore in Santa Fe, and I approached him and introduced myself to him. We talked for about 10 minutes.

I've read all his books, and I think Blood Meridian and Suttree are masterpieces. The first three pages of Suttree are absolutely breathtaking. What would be cooler than owning his typewriter?

Christie's is auctioning his typewriter on Friday, and I've placed an absentee bid. I won't win it, of course, but it's fun to dream.

Cormac McCarthy is god.

Official performance and procedural requirements for grain-weighing equipment and related grain-handling systems

That is the name of a section of Title 7 of the Code of Federal Regulations, Agriculture. It is more fun to read than other things I could name.

You may remember that Ina asked me for a cover blurb for her latest novella. She brought me a manuscript to read, and I did indeed read about 20 pages before I had to take an antacid.

The book is going to press, and Ina needed the blurb. I knew that it had to be truthful and kind but that it couldn't make me complicit in her efforts. Here's what I came up with.

"Ina's intense love for Jane Austen shines on every page."

Our invisible books are so popular that we've been out of them for a week.

Saturday afternoon near closing time a visitor was wandering around in the graphic novels. I asked, "May I help you find something?"

She said, "I had a book on the history of Los Alamos, but I lost it. Do you have any books on Los Alamos?" I led her over to the atomic history section, which has garnered much praise from historians and scientists as one of the most extensive and complete collections on the topic in the country.

She stared at it moodily. "Is this all you have?" our visitor asked.

I told her, "No store can carry every single book that's ever been printed, but perhaps I can make a suggestion."

"Well, I had this book on the history of Los Alamos. Do you have any books on the history of Los Alamos."

I made a sweeping gesture. She was unimpressed. "Don't you have any books you don't have?"

I mulled that one over for a few seconds, and figured that trying to make sense of it would require some cold rags for the back of my neck. "Do you know the title or the author?"

"Well, it had the word history in the title, I think. And maybe the. Like The History of Los Alamos or something like that. You know the one?"

"I'm sorry, but I need more information than that."

She began to talk to me very slowly and loudly to make sure that I understood her. "I. WANT. A. BOOK. ABOUT. THE. HISTORY. OF. LOS. ALAMOS. AND. THE. HISTORY. OF. THE. SCIENTISTS! IT'S. A. BOOK. THAT. I. LOST. DO. YOU. KNOW. THE. ONE. I'M. TALKING. ABOUT?"

So I went back to the cash register and pulled up the inventory of books about Los Alamos with the word history in the title. Lots of books. I named the top five or so, but nothing rang a bell with her. "No," she said, "I think the book may have had the word Los Alamos in the title. Or maybe not. It was all about the history of Los Alamos and the history of the scientists, I know that for sure. Do you have any books on the history of the scientists?"

Another sweeping gesture at the biographies. "Do you remember the author?" I asked.

"No. But I think the book was about this big a-square," she said, holding out a copy of Standing by and Making Do so I could calibrate her request. "Do you have any books about this big a-square? About the history of Los Alamos? It had the history of the scientists, too, I'm pretty sure."

When in doubt, go to the cash register and check the inventory. "The closest I can come right now is Jon Hunner's Inventing Los Alamos. But we're out of stock right now."

"Oh, that's wonderful! Where is it?"

"Out of stock. I'd be pleased to order it for you."

"Is it about this big a-square?"

"Yes. It has a bluish-green cover."

"No, no, this book had a different color, I think. Or maybe not. Are you sure you don't have any books you don't have?"

No, this isn't the book I want. It's not this big a-square.

And I'm still not finished

Here are some images of the facelift of my home office. Fortunately, I don't have a "before" picture, because I would have sunk through the floor with embarrassment.

First I packed up everything in the office and staged it in the living room.

When the bookcases were empty, I cleaned them and staged them in the carport so that Fernando from Mountain School could come get them in his truck. Bookcases are a hot commodity in the public schools, and Fernando told me later that they disappeared immediately from his truck and then reappeared in the classrooms.

Here is the almost-empty room. The walls were off-white, and the ceiling was sort of beige.

I chose Valspar's "Ice Storm" for the ceiling and walls and "Capri Coast" for the accent walls. (I fixed the "holidays," so there's complete coverage.)

I think this is a more accurate representation of the colors.

I chose rustic Mexican iron for the closets and cupboards.

Here are two full bookcases. I put the inscribed books from various signings up on the top because I probably won't read them any time soon. Harry Potter is up there, too, because he takes up a lot of room, and I don't reread those frequently.

Years ago I picked up a cute iron bird in Madrid. It's made of pieces of farm implements. The rustic Mexican lamp has a "piña" design. The little cupboard is made from salvaged teak from the 2004 tsunami in the Indian Ocean.

Here is my bespoke rustic desk.

I also have kinetic sculpture in the room.