Thursday, November 26, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving! I am thankful for my family and friends.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

I'd like an elegant Shiraz that would complement a meal of mice, bugs, and a lizard

Yesterday I went into Kelly Liquors on Juan Tabo in Albuquerque to look at the wine selection. As I turned the corner by the beer coolers, I saw a roadrunner calmly marching down the aisle, then stopping and looking with evident interest at the beer. It was very calm and seemed at home, so I asked the guy at the counter if the bird were a pet or a mascot. He misunderstood and said, "Yes, we have Roadrunner wine. Come this way." I said, "No, it's a real roadrunner. He's looking at the beer."

The whole staff surged over to the coolers, and the counter guy started whistling and saying, "Come here, birdie. Come on, let's go. Let's go, birdie." The woman at the counter and I whipped out our cell phones to take pictures. The roadrunner hopped up on the display of mixers. The counter guy asked, "How did he get in?" I said, "Your door is open. He walked in." The guy started whistling again at the roadrunner, which hopped off the display and walked down the aisle toward me. The woman with the cell phone started herding him toward the door, and the roadrunner went home without getting what he came in for.

"I'm not seeing any Shiraz from here."

"The beers look pretty tempting."

"Maybe a nice Chardonnay . . . ."

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Official performance and procedural requirements for grain-weighing equipment and related grain-handling systems

That is the name of a section of Title 7 of the Code of Federal Regulations, Agriculture. It is more fun to read than other things I could name.

You may remember that Ina asked me for a cover blurb for her latest novella. She brought me a manuscript to read, and I did indeed read about 20 pages before I had to take an antacid.

The book is going to press, and Ina needed the blurb. I knew that it had to be truthful and kind but that it couldn't make me complicit in her efforts. Here's what I came up with.
"Ina's intense love for Jane Austen shines on every page."