"The best things in life are free." "No, they're not. You forgot about shipping, handling, and tax."

Back in May, a father came into the store and said that he had a win-win proposition for me. If we would hire his daughter full-time for the summer, he would reimburse us 100%. He wanted to do this because having a job would show the kid the value of money earned by the sweat of one's brow. He assured me that the kid had initiative and was a self-starter. Lost on him was the irony of the kid's not having the initiative to come to the store to apply for a summer job and that Dad was surreptitiously paying her salary to teach her the value of a dollar.

I sent a note to our bookkeeper explaining the proposal, and she wrote back that it was indeed legit, except, "You need to make sure and add up all the cost to you. Your state unemployment tax rate is .03%, your federal unemployment tax rate is .8%, and the employer’s part of FICA is .765%. You will also need to add in the workers' comp insurance cost." Simple!

Michele, Alan, and I discussed the matter for about three minutes and confirmed that we wouldn't accept the offer. We were fully staffed for the summer with three self-starting students who had come in person to pick up applications and applied in January.

*****

Today a customer came in to pick up a playscript that he had special-ordered. He was sore because it was cheaper online from the source he gave us and because he had to pay the County gross receipts tax on it. He did not want to hear about the playscript company's not discounting to the trade, shipping charges, or the capitalist system.

*****

Today a woman presented her unsigned credit card for a purchase. "May I see your ID please?" I asked automatically. She said, "Absolutely not! I don't need to go through a background check just to buy these books from you. I don't sign my credit cards, because if I did, somebody could forge my signature. [Not to mention the possibility that a crook who gets his hands on her signature-free card could just sign it in front of a clerk, thereby making the card appear valid, while also ensuring that the signature on the card will now match the crook's own signature on the receipt.] Here! Here's cash. I resent giving you cash, because I know you make more money from cash transactions." I thanked her warmly and gave her her change. "Do you take local checks without a background check?" she asked. Before I could answer, she turned on her heel and stomped out.

It's been One of Those Days. Fortunately I have a song in my heart to chase them naughty blues away!

I will give you the cash that would otherwise go to support my aged parents back on the farm. Satisfied?