One, however, is a pain. Ina (not her real name) is self-published, prolific, and a master of self-promotion. Her books include a Southwestern mystery, a mystery of the Great Lakes area (not a big seller in the Southwest), the biography of a Michigan author whose fame echoes from Kalamazoo to Battle Creek, and a romance in the style of Jane Austen--if Jane Austen had mined a rich vein of prose combining the charm of a Pentagon briefing with the excitement of double-entry bookkeeping.
Nevertheless, she has her fans.
Ina’s current claim to fame is that she walked the entire length of the Santa Fe Trail from west to east over the course of many years. Far be it from me to denigrate the achievement. I mean, the woman is now 70+ and is planning another hike of the trail, this time over the mountain route.
During her trek over the lower route, she sent back regular dispatches to the local paper, which obligingly printed them. She also presented the editors of every scrappy small-town weekly along the Santa Fe Trail with press releases about her trek. She collected the clippings, which are all pretty much identical, combined them with those from the local paper—and voila! another book.
Child: "We cain't shake her, Paw. She's still out there. Step on it!"
Her latest, the “ghost-written autobiography” of a retired teacher, is making me nuts. In the first place, an autobiography should be written by the person herself. In the second place, nobody should have to pay twelve bucks for a photocopied VeloBound book. In the third place, she should have shared the money from sales with the teacher.
And in the fourth place, when the teacher passed away at age 97, Ina called me at the store to see how many of her books we had on hand. I told her we didn’t have any.
She said she couldn’t get any more herself because the copy place was closed. She wanted to sell them at the memorial service for the teacher.
I just stood there with the phone. I couldn’t speak. Her comment precluded further comment anyway.
After a short pause, Ina assured me that she'd come up with a solution: she’d make up some order forms and hand them out at the reception after the service so folks could bring them by the store to reserve their copies.
And in the fourth place, when the teacher passed away at age 97, Ina called me at the store to see how many of her books we had on hand. I told her we didn’t have any.
She said she couldn’t get any more herself because the copy place was closed. She wanted to sell them at the memorial service for the teacher.
I just stood there with the phone. I couldn’t speak. Her comment precluded further comment anyway.
After a short pause, Ina assured me that she'd come up with a solution: she’d make up some order forms and hand them out at the reception after the service so folks could bring them by the store to reserve their copies.
5 comments:
I jest caint believe it! On second thought, sure I can believe it. You should come to the Senior Center some time and observe her marching around, obiously feeling she owns the entire place.
I hope the memorial for the late teacher's "auto"biography generated a run on the book.
Does Ina have internet access? Will she take her books to another bookstore if she knew how much of a pain she is? I hope you have a security camera that will film the scene where she comes to scoop up the remaining stock of her books! Do post that!
One thing is, she has great passion for the things that she loves.
"Ina" taught me that "all right is always two words," for which I will be eternally grateful, but passing out order forms at a memorial service is tacky. What she should have done is get a discreet pad of forms and attach it to the headstone.
Amazing! A long time ago I was on a running relay team(we went from town to White Rock...I had a leg to the back gate and half way to Bandelier...)with her and we came in second. She groused about how we should have been first because of her age...heck, she was the short pole in the tent! They gave points for age, but you still had to move a little faster! She has no shame!
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