Oh, you mean like "did gyre and gimlet in the wabe"?

I've often said that if a person can't find what she needs at Otowi Station, Metzger's Hardware, or CB Fox, she probably doesn't need it. I don't need a gimlet.

I have a framed image I want to hang in my office. I needed to start a hole for the screws that hold the eyelets that hold the wire that hangs on the hook that lives in the house that Jack built, and a using power drill was a little like using a sledgehammer to swat flies. So I schlepped across the street to Metzger's and wandered around for a while. Finally someone asked whether I had been helped, and I said not yet, and he asked how he could help, and I said, "I need a gimlet."

"It's too early in the day for a gimlet," he said. I explained that I didn't need a drink. I needed something to bore a little hole to start a screw. I needed a gimlet. "I've been working here for 42 years, and I've never heard of a gimlet," he said, looking at me as if I were making up words just to confuse him.

"I'm an English major. I know lots of words. I need a gimlet. You know, like 'a gimlet eye and a terrible swift sword.' Frank B. Gilbreth and Ernestine Gilbreth Carey used the phrase to describe their father in Cheaper by the Dozen." I thought I was being helpful, but it was obviously more than he wanted to know.

"Let me get Ernie," Mr. 42 said. "He can help you." I wandered around for a bit, and eventually Ernie, a curious cashier, and Mr. 42 came toward me in solemn procession. Mr. 42 said to Ernie, "This is the lady who needs a gimlet." The cashier said, "I've never heard of a gimlet." Ernie asked what a gimlet does. I explained that it bores a hole so you can start a screw. "What you need is a drill bit," he said.

"I have a drill bit. The job is too small for a drill bit," I said.

The cashier said, "I've never heard of a gimlet." Ernie told Mr. 42, "She really needs a drill bit. That'll start the screw." Mr. 42 said, "Yep, I think a drill bit is what she needs." I said, "I'm standing right here." The cashier said, "What's a gimlet. I've never heard of a gimlet." Another clerk joined us. "She needs a gimlet," the cashier explained. "What's a gimlet?" the clerk asked.

Ernie squatted and stared at the display of drill bits with the same expression and intensity as someone just stumbling on Shakespeare. Finally he stood up with a packet of two 2.38-mm high-speed steel drill bits. "These will start the holes." By that time I felt a sporting obligation to buy the drill bits and get the heck out of there before the rest of the staff joined in the discussion. I walked back to the store brooding about why I am so weak in front of sales clerks. A twine will lead me.

As I went into my office, I saw my backpack. My Leatherman tool was inside. It has an awl. And it worked a treat, too. I wondered what would have happened if I had asked for an awl. Would they have led me to the lubricants and asked what kind of awl I wanted? It was too much to contemplate. I started on the hole for the second screw.